How do you handle dealing with people who don't take abuse you have suffered seriously?

How do you handle dealing with people who don't take abuse you have suffered seriously?
by

1 Answer

Answer :

answer:I don’t associate with people who do things that hurt me. I encourage my children to do the same. If you are dealing with issues from your past that are painful, it’s often safe to work through these issues with a professional. Even the people who love you may have a difficult time dealing with this. It’s helpful to not expect them to handle this in any particular way. And in many cases, it’s best to set guidelines for what you expect when discussing such matters (“I just need you to listen.”, for example). Regarding this site you are visiting – if you find that you feel worse due to interactions there, it’s likely that you should stop.
by

Related questions

Why don't we take childhood obesity much more seriously as a society?

Description : Why don't we take childhood obesity much more seriously as a society?

Last Answer : Do you want to make it illegal to have a fat kid??? Kids used to walk to school or ride a bike, now most are bussed. After school was spent at the playground playing pick up basketball, baseball ... is all organized and don't forget to properly hydrate! Add to that a lot of parents are overweight.

Would you say something about workplace abuse under these conditions?

Description : Would you say something about workplace abuse under these conditions?

Last Answer : Yes, I would speak up. You might be helping to mitigate a grave injustice, and you really have nothing to lose. You re safe now, so you can speak, be a voice for the voiceless.

Why do caregivers abuse the elderly?

Description : Why do caregivers abuse the elderly?

Last Answer : There is really never an excuse for abuse. I think the elderly are susceptible because #1, they are often unable to defend themselves and sometimes unable to communicate well enough to either ... to losing their tempers or resorting to abusive behavior will snap under the right circumstances.

Which do you think is worse: Elderly abuse or child abuse?

Description : Which do you think is worse: Elderly abuse or child abuse?

Last Answer : answer:Abuse is abuse, in my opinion. Both are horrid. However, if there has to be a worse one, it would depend on the severity of the physical abuse – not so much the age of the victim. It would also depend on the person’s ability to defend themselves and communicate the abuse to someone else.

I'm dealing with a co-worker who's partner is emotionally abusive? Why are people emotionally abusive?

Description : I'm dealing with a co-worker who's partner is emotionally abusive? Why are people emotionally abusive?

Last Answer : A better question might be, what is your coworker doing about it?

Why didn't this girl's parents pull her out of school?

Description : Why didn't this girl's parents pull her out of school?

Last Answer : It's so easy to believe nothing bad will really happen. You don't want trouble or dusruption. You could be overreacting. Things will probably turn out all right. If nothing happens, there won't be ... could have. So you talk yourself out of it instead of going into alarm and taking drastic steps.

How do I come to terms/deal with all of this?

Description : How do I come to terms/deal with all of this?

Last Answer : Get. The. Heck. Away. From. Him. Physically, emotionally (you might seek help for that), and break all contacts (social media, phone numbers, mail addresses, etc.) He sounds like a manipulative predator.

Have you ever been "gaslighted"?

Description : Have you ever been "gaslighted"?

Last Answer : Yes, by my hubby when he was abusive. That was decades ago. He doesn’t do that anymore, and now he calls out men who abuse. (He’s a rare gem!)

What should I do?

Description : What should I do?

Last Answer : 1. Next time your father is in a violent rage, call 9-1-1. Call them overtime he starts to go off on one of you. 2. Start preparing to move out as soon as possible. When your dad ... not let him back into your life until he has demonstrated he has been to long term counseling and anger management.

Is this considered child neglect? And would you have spoken to to parent in this situation?

Description : Is this considered child neglect? And would you have spoken to to parent in this situation?

Last Answer : No, I don't see it as child abuse or neglect. I see it as two brothers playing. From your description, it's hard to even call it bullying. It's more like horseplay, with the older kid probably not ... . If you had butted in, the father would have been well within his rights to tell you to piss off.

Would you have called the police in this situation?

Description : Would you have called the police in this situation?

Last Answer : Yes of course! Why even question that?

How should I treat an "ex" who was verbally and physically abusive when he's at a party I'm attending?

Description : How should I treat an "ex" who was verbally and physically abusive when he's at a party I'm attending?

Last Answer : Wow. The answer is very individual and probably so complicated that you should work it out with your therapist. You don't have control over your emotional reaction. You feel how you feel and that's neither good ... though, that's why if I were in your shoes I'd spend a few session with a therapist.

Do you think this woman just "messed up," when she allowed her children to be severely abused?

Description : Do you think this woman just "messed up," when she allowed her children to be severely abused?

Last Answer : answer:I am not excusing her. Yet the dynamics of an abusive environment can lead people into inexcusable behavior that they would otherwise not take part in. Bear in mind the framing of your question carries ... responsibility for her part in it, and going to jail. She is not getting away with it.

Do you think there should be a reconsideration about the foster care system in the Untied States?

Description : Do you think there should be a reconsideration about the foster care system in the Untied States?

Last Answer : answer:During the years following World War II, the U.S. began closing orphanages - large residential institutions - and transitioning to group homes and foster care. Traditional orphanages are no longer a ... care about were to enter the foster system, which seems too much like a game of roulette.

Did stress affected my ovulation and period this month?

Description : Did stress affected my ovulation and period this month?

Last Answer : answer:Stress affects your body, so your period must be affected. According to your description you are suffering from severe stress, so it's no wonder why your period changes. Not to mention the ... your boyfriend for a while. Stress will not only affect your health but also your exam results.

Worst abusive mother ever. What should I do now?

Description : Worst abusive mother ever. What should I do now?

Last Answer : answer:Well, for starters, you should probably see if you can get this question moved to General, because it's obviously a question that you want to have answered seriously - since it's such a serious topic ... the future; it comes down to how you deal with it and map out your actions from now on.

What are the chances of a teenage boy like this turning into an abuser?

Description : What are the chances of a teenage boy like this turning into an abuser?

Last Answer : Well; I can safely say that the last one is not abusing anyone.

How do I speak with her about her abusive relationship?

Description : How do I speak with her about her abusive relationship?

Last Answer : answer:What you don't have to do is take verbal abuse from this jerk. Tell him and her the next time he speaks to you like that, you are out of there. As to her hearing you, all you can do is say, ... domestic abuse hotline) 888-743-5754. Then you have to let it go. It's up to her at that point.

Do you think domestic violence is ever the victim's fault?

Description : Do you think domestic violence is ever the victim's fault?

Last Answer : I’m sure there are enough times when the trigger of violence warrants a closer look (such as the fact that the victim is also violent towards her spouse or abusive of children, etc.) but in the situation you describe, no…besides even if certain situations are explainable, violence isn’t excusable.

Why do you think male rape is taboo?

Description : Why do you think male rape is taboo?

Last Answer : I would assume that homophobia is the culprit. All that I can say is that I hope it is a dynamic that changes, because it certainly isn’t right. I haven’t read the article, yet, so if that was discussed in the article feel free to mod me out.

Has anyone here (and not necessarily on this particular website) ever been "trolled" before?

Description : Has anyone here (and not necessarily on this particular website) ever been "trolled" before?

Last Answer : answer:I cannot speak for other sites but on Fluther you would contact the community manager Augustlan. She is well-equipped to help and is an expert at this sort of thing. And just to let you know. Fluther is not a troll-friendly site. We do not tolerate harassment.

How does someone disappear, permanently, because of DV and threats?

Description : How does someone disappear, permanently, because of DV and threats?

Last Answer : answer:First thing to do is report the threats to the police. They might not act on them but if you have every threat documented with them it will come in handy later. After that there are ... people in your situation and are able to provide shelter. This website provides details that may be useful.

How do you question the actions of a supposed hero?

Description : How do you question the actions of a supposed hero?

Last Answer : answer:Is this possible hypothermia hypothetical? Either way too many may(s) and possible(s) for my taste. Unless the eye witness (you?) is 100% sure, I would not risk destroying someone ... damaging accusations such as these. And the fact that she is a hero is irrelevant to the equation.

What do you think about Chris Brown fans?

Description : What do you think about Chris Brown fans?

Last Answer : I don’t see why anyone cares.

Are blackouts and crying fits common with post traumatic stress disorder?

Description : Are blackouts and crying fits common with post traumatic stress disorder?

Last Answer : Someone hit you while you were at the gym? I’m confused.

Why is it so much more acceptable to berate someone verbally than it is to do so physically?

Description : Why is it so much more acceptable to berate someone verbally than it is to do so physically?

Last Answer : Verbal abuse causes mental and emotional scars. Physical abuse causes physical, mental, and emotional scars.

I think my friend is being abused by his foster parents what do I do?

Description : I think my friend is being abused by his foster parents what do I do?

Last Answer : Document document document. Things might be fresh in your mind right now, but if you can write everything down with clarity and simplicity about what you saw, what you supposed you saw, etc, and keep an ... at school. Talk to them about it too. And bring your written down evidence to all of this.

Have you ever hit yourself?

Description : Have you ever hit yourself?

Last Answer : I have run into things, but never intentionaly “hit” or “punched” myself. I have, however, gotten very mad and kicked a wall and that hurt like hell.

Is multi-tasking abusive?

Description : Is multi-tasking abusive?

Last Answer : I have deliberately kept my life relatively simple as I function musch better when not over-stressed. I am fortunate to be able to afford to work only part time and do not carry a cellphone on purpose ... all that comes at one in America today and partly because of Fluther! (Seriously.) But I try .

Do you care about what happens to rapists in prisons?

Description : Do you care about what happens to rapists in prisons?

Last Answer : From what I hear, they get what they had coming to them… usually. But no, it’s not very high on my list of things to care about.

My friend, who is a druggie and looks kind of scary at first sight, but is actuallly very nice, sometimes has anger issues and a short temper, will he be fine in the future? Or do you think he will be very violent to be around and abusive?

Description : My friend, who is a druggie and looks kind of scary at first sight, but is actuallly very nice, sometimes has anger issues and a short temper, will he be fine in the future? Or do you think he will be very violent to be around and abusive?

Last Answer : Well.. you can never know for sure… as long as he isn’t physically abusive, because everyone can have anger issues. He could work it out, tell him about how scary he is during when he lashes out, and maybe he could change.

If you suffered sexual or physical abuse as a child, as an adult, do you have anything to do with your abuser (assuming that he or she is still alive)

Description : If you suffered sexual or physical abuse as a child, as an adult, do you have anything to do with your abuser (assuming that he or she is still alive)

Last Answer : For a long time, I did, because he was always at family events. At some point, though, I realized it was making me crazy, and I finally said no more! If he was attending, I didn't go. ... I missed having Christmas at my grandparent's house and such, but it was definitely better for me to cut ties.

If you suffered from any form of abuse as a child (physical, mental/emotional, sexual), how did that affect you as an adult?

Description : If you suffered from any form of abuse as a child (physical, mental/emotional, sexual), how did that affect you as an adult?

Last Answer : answer:Of course. Most of us have. The only person you need to trust is yourself! I trust myself, meaning, I trust that my own intuition and observations will not fail me in my interactions with ... that I will take right action, for myself. The only trust you really need, is trust in yourself!

How often do find yourself dealing with someone who is seriously mentally ill?

Description : How often do find yourself dealing with someone who is seriously mentally ill?

Last Answer : answer:I had a best friend for a few years who was mentally ill with multiple disorders that were controlled by meds. He dropped me summarily after some therapy. I know this doesn't really speak to your ... you feel this person is a danger to your staff, you may have to dismiss him as a client.

I'm challenging the government in court and I'm wondering: How well does incarceration do against other methods of dealing with drug abuse? What data/ideas do we have?

Description : I'm challenging the government in court and I'm wondering: How well does incarceration do against other methods of dealing with drug abuse? What data/ideas do we have?

Last Answer : What “government” are you challenging?

Dealing with childhood abuse from a family member as an adult?

Description : Dealing with childhood abuse from a family member as an adult?

Last Answer : Is your family aware of your history with your brother?

How do you handle deadlines? Do you disregard them? Do you honor them? Do you treat them seriously?

Description : How do you handle deadlines? Do you disregard them? Do you honor them? Do you treat them seriously?

Last Answer : I treat them seriously, but I have trouble with procrastinating.

Describe a situation where you found yourself dealing with someone who didn't like you. How did you handle it?

Description : Describe a situation where you found yourself dealing with someone who didn't like you. How did you handle it?

Last Answer : This question is designed to see how you handle conflict and to see whether you can move beyond it. Also, be sure that the reason for your person not liking you isn't something that will look bad the interviewer.

When a seller requires that a dealer not handle competitors' products, the agreement is called a/an A. Exclusive distribution B. Exclusive dealing C. Control criterion D. Dual distribution

Description : When a seller requires that a dealer not handle competitors' products, the agreement is called a/an A. Exclusive distribution B. Exclusive dealing C. Control criterion D. Dual distribution

Last Answer : D. Dual distribution

Do you get MRI results sooner if they see something seriously wrong with you? I.E if they don't get back to you within a week can you assume nothing major was found?

Description : Do you get MRI results sooner if they see something seriously wrong with you? I.E if they don't get back to you within a week can you assume nothing major was found?

Last Answer : You can’t assume anything. Call the doctor that requested the MRI and ask if they have the results yet. It should not take a week.

I seriously don't know what she means....?

Description : I seriously don't know what she means....?

Last Answer : answer:I guess she means if you twist the stem and it forms a letter then that is to be the first letter of the name of your next beau. Just a guess.

Have you announced when dating, even seriously, "I don't cook."?

Description : Have you announced when dating, even seriously, "I don't cook."?

Last Answer : Sure. I hate to cook! I don’t think I ever said it with my ‘nose up in the air’, though. It’s just a fact about me, like “I love to read”. Hasn’t hurt me, so far as I know.

For anyone who has suffered from the Shingles, how long did it take for you to get over it?

Description : For anyone who has suffered from the Shingles, how long did it take for you to get over it?

Last Answer : Oh, @SQUEEKY2, still being plagued? So so sorry! My lesions lasted about a week before they really started to diminish, with all the anti-virals and steroids I was taking. But the crushing fatigue went on for 4–6 months. I hpe you are done with this soon, it can be miserable! :-(

Why don't the men of fluther talk about childhood sexual abuse?

Description : Why don't the men of fluther talk about childhood sexual abuse?

Last Answer : I feel that sexual abuse is more difficult for men to talk about.

Do you take people with ADHD seriously?

Description : Do you take people with ADHD seriously?

Last Answer : I can’t find any in real life… only on television… like Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory. Asperger’s is like ADD (I’m guessing). I was once considered to have ADD, from military recruiters , and it was forgotten when I wasn’t highered.

Do you think people take themselves and the world around them way too seriously, or for the most part have a live, and let live type of approach?

Description : Do you think people take themselves and the world around them way too seriously, or for the most part have a live, and let live type of approach?

Last Answer : I have seen a few get quite upset at questions and things like (people are very uptight over their politics) and then blow a fuse by saying NOT all people are uptight,knowing full well the ... to not upset the uptight crowd )MOST people take themselves and the world around them way to seriously?

people over 25, How seriously would you take a college student?

Description : people over 25, How seriously would you take a college student?

Last Answer : In what context? That's a very very broad question.

people over 25, How seriously would you take a college student?

Description : people over 25, How seriously would you take a college student?

Last Answer : In what context? That's a very very broad question.

I don't know how to go about dealing with this - any help?

Description : I don't know how to go about dealing with this - any help?

Last Answer : answer:If your GF has BPD, then whether or not she is on meds, she shouldn't be drinking at all. Her drinking is out of control (and was, is, and always will be beyond your control.) When she ... if she doesn't stop, or you can not be firm and keep dealing with her breaking your precious things.

What do I Ido about neighbors who I suspect are running a major drug dealing operation? They are loud and I don't like that a different BMW is parked outside my house every hour.

Description : What do I Ido about neighbors who I suspect are running a major drug dealing operation? They are loud and I don't like that a different BMW is parked outside my house every hour.

Last Answer : Call the police from a pay phone or have a friend call for you away from your house. Take photo's if you can, make sure that it is infact a drug ring. Have their names ready and the times that ... may like you too but believe me that the random cars out front could care less. Good luck with this.