answer:Well, for starters, you should probably see if you can get this question moved to General, because it’s obviously a question that you want to have answered seriously – since it’s such a serious topic and apparently fundamental to your social development – but that’s just “where to ask the question”. It doesn’t really resolve the issue. For my part, I doubt whether you’ll have a lot of success in recovering the memory, validating what you do “remember”, and then what good it will do you when you do. I tend to doubt whether your memory as a two-year-old is anywhere near accurate. It may be that things happen as you describe, but I have great doubt whether anyone can recall memories accurately from that deep in their childhood. I had a wonderful childhood, with no serious trauma of any kind, and for most of my life I’ve never had a “real” memory that predates my first day of kindergarten, at 4 years of age. And I have very few memories of that part of my life. It’s more likely that this “memory” has been related to you – told to you – by someone else (possibly even your mother herself) and has now been retained in your mind as a false memory. (If you check out the prevalence of false memory in children you’ll understand why I might think that way.) I don’t doubt that you had a traumatic childhood, nor do I doubt the likely fact that your mother was (perhaps still is) as abusive as you say. It’s definitely something you need to process in some way, to deal with so that you can grow to be a healthy, non-abusive adult in your own right. But trying to reach back to memories of when you were a helpless toddler or infant will not help you today to deal with the feelings, emotions and imprinted patterns of behavior that will guide your future attitudes and actions. I think you should be talking to a professional therapist or counselor about these issues instead of seeking direct advice on your psyche from even the most well-meaning strangers on the internet. It’s not about what we think of your memories, your mother or your best path to follow for the future; it comes down to how you deal with it and map out your actions from now on.