I've been having episodes of depression for years, and I couldn't be more proud of myself whenever I get to beat the hell out of it. Whenever I'm depressed, I tend to disconnect to people including family and friends. I don't want them to feel burdened much as I don't want to feel like a liability. It is not knowing what causes this extreme sadness that makes things worse. In fact, I consider myself lucky every time smoking a stick or two is enough to help me calm my mind, as there are times when I just want to end it all. To tell you the truth, during these times I am most thankful for having the energy to change bedsheets or even take a bath. So, yes, I am still here, and I am proud of myself for not giving up or giving in to depression.