I used many of the methods you have described above. There probably isn’t one, single thing that anyone can say “This is what works”. It depends so much on the reasons for the feelings, what upbringing the person has had. In my case, I had a very loving and supportive family, but the public school “socializing” environment nearly killed me. Even my parents did not understand how much it hurt. I joined a supportive social club, read all the “self-help” popular psychology books that came out, attented group therapy with a certified phychiatrist, and time passed. My biggest attitude adjustment occurred when my son was born. That day, I saw that I had a perfect baby, and I pledged to be the good Mom he deserved.