Know any "jokes to live by"?

Know any "jokes to live by"?
by

1 Answer

Answer :

“Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive.” —Bugs Bunny
by

Related questions

What are some humorous responses to the plaid out platitude "There are plenty of fish in the sea."?

Description : What are some humorous responses to the plaid out platitude "There are plenty of fish in the sea."?

Last Answer : Maybe, but I prefer to swim upstream. Great. Then I won't have to hold my breath for too long. That's fin and dandy. I would love a new gilfriend. I hope so, cuz I could fall hook, line, and ... any take the bait and be my chum? Better the sea than a puddle because I like my women with some depth.

Do you have any words of wisdom you would like to share?

Description : Do you have any words of wisdom you would like to share?

Last Answer : I’ll start off: People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care… fortune cookie.

"Better to be too credulous than too skeptical." Is that true?

Description : "Better to be too credulous than too skeptical." Is that true?

Last Answer : answer:The middle ground is simply another proverb, ”Expect the worst and hope for the best”. For the record, most folks that are either too credulous or too skeptical share one common trait. They have the hardest time believing the simplest truths.

Have you invented any proverbs worth adding to a compilation of wise sayings?

Description : Have you invented any proverbs worth adding to a compilation of wise sayings?

Last Answer : If you want sugar coating, go buy a doughnut.

Can you think of your own clever, two-word proverb?

Description : Can you think of your own clever, two-word proverb?

Last Answer : Do it!

Sharpen your pencils, wordsmiths, it's time for another round of ask-public phrases.

Description : Sharpen your pencils, wordsmiths, it's time for another round of ask-public phrases.

Last Answer : answer:Category: Internet Love “I would totally delete my online profile for you baby”

What are the three most valuable pieces of proverbial advice you received from your father?

Description : What are the three most valuable pieces of proverbial advice you received from your father?

Last Answer : Three? That’s kind of hard. “You don’t have to like everything that happens to you, but you do have to make the best of it.” “From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.” Dad was a Socialist. “Have faith in God”.

What does this russian proverb mean?

Description : What does this russian proverb mean?

Last Answer : Do you know the modern day saying Starve a Fever, Feed a Cold? It's taken from Russian proverbs. The proverb you cited is for a fever. In other words, bundle up, don't eat and treat your fever with a ... to the head. (my Russian grandma would tuck us in so we couldn't move a muscle when we were ill)

Suppose the teachers are busy in cracking filthy jokes and you are also there but you are unable to stop them you should (a) Persuade them decently not to waste their time-in-filthy jokes (b) Live in isolations or change the group (c) Instruct them to mind their language while passing leisure time. (d) be critical and remind them for the nobility of their jobs.

Description : Suppose the teachers are busy in cracking filthy jokes and you are also there but you are unable to stop them you should (a) Persuade them decently not to waste their time-in-filthy jokes (b) ... language while passing leisure time. (d) be critical and remind them for the nobility of their jobs.

Last Answer : (a) Persuade them decently not to waste their time-in-filthy jokes

Suppose the teachers are busy in cracking filthy jokes and you are also there but you are unable to stop them you should Options: A) persuade them decently not to waste their time-in-filthy jokes B) live in isolation or change the group C) instruct them to mind their language while passing leisure time D) be critical and remind them for the nobility of their jobs

Description : Suppose the teachers are busy in cracking filthy jokes and you are also there but you are unable to stop them you should Options: A) persuade them decently not to waste their time-in-filthy ... their language while passing leisure time D) be critical and remind them for the nobility of their jobs

Last Answer : A) persuade them decently not to waste their time-in-filthy jokes 

If a teacher is cracking filthy jokes in a class and you are unable to stop him, then what will you do? Options: A) persuade him/her decently not to waste their time-in filthy jokes. B) live in isolation or change the group. C) instruct him to mind his/her language in class. D) be critical and remind him for the nobility of their jobs.

Description : If a teacher is cracking filthy jokes in a class and you are unable to stop him, then what will you do? Options: A) persuade him/her decently not to waste their time-in filthy jokes. B) live in ... to mind his/her language in class. D) be critical and remind him for the nobility of their jobs. 

Last Answer : A) persuade him/her decently not to waste their time-in filthy jokes. 

Suppose a few teachers are busy in cracking filthy jokes during their leisure time in school, you are also member of that group but unable to stop them. What would you like to do to avoid it? Options: A) You persuade them not to waste their leisure time in filthy jokes B) You change the group or live in isolation because you don't relish it C) You instruct them to mind their language while cracking jokes in school D) You criticise and remind them of their noble profession

Description : Suppose a few teachers are busy in cracking filthy jokes during their leisure time in school, you are also member of that group but unable to stop them. What would you like to do to ... mind their language while cracking jokes in school D) You criticise and remind them of their noble profession

Last Answer : A) You persuade them not to waste their leisure time in filthy jokes 

Heard any groaner jokes lately?

Description : Heard any groaner jokes lately?

Last Answer : SQUEEKY2 What is the difference between a shower curtain and toilet paper?

Would someone please tell us some jokes?

Description : Would someone please tell us some jokes?

Last Answer : Why don’t we use a broken pencils? . . . . . Because it’s pointless.

Do you think Rush Limbaugh would have made jokes about Bernie Sanders?

Description : Do you think Rush Limbaugh would have made jokes about Bernie Sanders?

Last Answer : I don’t think that Limbaugh would have been happy or would make jokes of Bernie Sanders death. It’s weird to cheer when decent people die.

Do you think Trump is aware that he is the butt of thousands of jokes arising from his foolishness?

Description : Do you think Trump is aware that he is the butt of thousands of jokes arising from his foolishness?

Last Answer : He isn’t shielded, but he is blind to it. The man has no sense of humor, as evidenced by his reaction at the White House Correspondents Dinner in 2011.

So I'm stuck in the hospital and I need some cheering up. Does anybody have any good jokes?

Description : So I'm stuck in the hospital and I need some cheering up. Does anybody have any good jokes?

Last Answer : Oh man. I have more hospital time coming up for surgeries. I bought a dancing baby Groot to keep me amused. I’ll have to come back to post jokes.

Are there any hilarious jokes in kids movies that you're surprised made it into the film?

Description : Are there any hilarious jokes in kids movies that you're surprised made it into the film?

Last Answer : There is this scene from the Hunter x Hunter anime. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3tcy3R2T8U Watch their eyes at the 1 minute mark.

Do you have any sweet rituals or jokes with any of your adult children still?

Description : Do you have any sweet rituals or jokes with any of your adult children still?

Last Answer : When I go to a movie with my daughter, if we there is a preview for something we’d like to see, we sort-of high five and wiggle our fingers. We’ve done this since she was 5. :-)

Heard any Trump jokes lately?

Description : Heard any Trump jokes lately?

Last Answer : Someone here called Drumpf a genius.

What are your best/favorite jokes?

Description : What are your best/favorite jokes?

Last Answer : A peanut butter sandwich walked into a bar, sat down, and ordered a beer. The bartended said, “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve food.”

Do you think there should be limits to comedy and jokes?

Description : Do you think there should be limits to comedy and jokes?

Last Answer : answer:No, not at all ”In a world where people starve, are neglected, tortured, killed by drones, I find the idea of being offended by a joke slightly decadent”

How many people do you know who get all your jokes? (a revived question)

Description : How many people do you know who get all your jokes? (a revived question)

Last Answer : One. Thankfully, he lives in town, and I get to see him from time to time.

Do you have more inside jokes with your friends or your family?

Description : Do you have more inside jokes with your friends or your family?

Last Answer : Definitely with friends. And yes, it is an indication – I am much closer to my friends than my family.

What are your thoughts on the saggy boob "jokes"?

Description : What are your thoughts on the saggy boob "jokes"?

Last Answer : Never heard of it.

What inside jokes are specific to your profession?

Description : What inside jokes are specific to your profession?

Last Answer : This is hardly a cause for enormous hilarity but when I was doing oollege counselling, my colleagues wrote lots of poems that rhymed “Gail” with “But what about Yale”? The joke being that parents did not want to hear about safety or second tier schools.

What are some universal things or jokes or events that would be funny to everyone?

Description : What are some universal things or jokes or events that would be funny to everyone?

Last Answer : answer:I’m not sure there is anything that’s funny to everyone. I highly doubt it. Or, you know…your mom.

Do you know any corny jokes?

Description : Do you know any corny jokes?

Last Answer : I went to the dentist, but I only had a dollar, so he gave me buck teeth.

Give me your best hillbilly jokes, assumptions or rumors!

Description : Give me your best hillbilly jokes, assumptions or rumors!

Last Answer : I’d like you to meet the mother of my children, my mother.

What pranks/jokes have you done lately?

Description : What pranks/jokes have you done lately?

Last Answer : I’m clearly 7 years old, because I occasionally strategically shape a piece of brownie and place it on the toilet seat. It’s a real hit for those of us who are immature – and my kids.

What do you think of these nerdy jokes?

Description : What do you think of these nerdy jokes?

Last Answer : Made me laugh, thanks! Descartes before the horse and all that…

Where are all the Kim Jong-un jokes?

Description : Where are all the Kim Jong-un jokes?

Last Answer : Kim Jong-who?

Has the world completely exhausted funny "knock-knock" jokes?

Description : Has the world completely exhausted funny "knock-knock" jokes?

Last Answer : Who’s there?

Can you share some funny jokes?

Description : Can you share some funny jokes?

Last Answer : What’s the most important thing in humor timing.

What are the most ignorant jokes you have gotten through out your life?

Description : What are the most ignorant jokes you have gotten through out your life?

Last Answer : answer:Oh that’s easy. I get this on Soadhead.com all the time form rabid right-wingers offended by my policy ideas. They appear to believe this is a profound rebuttal of a lengthy statement of facts. “Your stupid.” The thing that’s funny about that is they don’t even know what’s funny about it.

Favourite Little Johnny jokes?

Description : Favourite Little Johnny jokes?

Last Answer : The Teacher asked her class to use definitely' in a sentence. Jane raised her hand and said, The sky is definitely blue. The Teacher said No, sometimes it is red with a beautiful sunset, and sometimes ... ? he asked. The Teacher was repulsed, and said No! . Then I definitely shit my pants.

Why do people giggle about, crack jokes about weed but not about ****?

Description : Why do people giggle about, crack jokes about weed but not about beer?

Last Answer : Because it’s illegal.

Do you enjoy practical jokes at *********?

Description : Do you enjoy practical jokes at Christmas?

Last Answer : I am not much of a fan of practical jokes although yours seems quite harmless.

I feel upset. Know any good jokes?

Description : I feel upset. Know any good jokes?

Last Answer : One day, a teacher, a garbage collector and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter ... 500. That's right! You may enter. St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. Name them.

What are some funny jokes you can think of off the top of your head?

Description : What are some funny jokes you can think of off the top of your head?

Last Answer : answer:A man throws a costume party with the theme of come dressed as an emotion. The guests begin to arrive and the host answers the first knock at the door to see a man dressed all in green. And what are ... And what emotion are you? asks the host. I am fucking DIS-PAIR says the man. ;-D

What funny jokes can you come up with in the form of one or more questions?

Description : What funny jokes can you come up with in the form of one or more questions?

Last Answer : Not sure…maybe one liners as questions.

Is it OK to laugh at your jokes every now and then?

Description : Is it OK to laugh at your jokes every now and then?

Last Answer : Blackberry Hey, if you don’t find them funny why tell them?

Anybody got any good flood jokes?

Description : Anybody got any good flood jokes?

Last Answer : answer:A man was sitting on his front porch when it started to rain. The rain came down harder and harder and the man realized that it was a flood. So the flood waters were rising and when the water started ... t you take care of me? The Lord says, Well, I sent you two rowboats and a helicopter!

Why is farting and fart jokes so funny?

Description : Why is farting and fart jokes so funny?

Last Answer : Flatulence is funny, just because. Parrrrrummmppp!!! Err….... more tea vicar? ;¬}

There are already tons of jokes about Osama's death; is it strange for humor to move this quickly?

Description : There are already tons of jokes about Osama's death; is it strange for humor to move this quickly?

Last Answer : Well, seeing as though mine are thus far the only Bin Laden inspired jokes on that thread, I feel compelled to answer. Humour & in particular satire should have no limits. This is the way it’s always been for donkey’s years. I like it that way :¬)

Where are all the Osama is dead jokes?

Description : Where are all the Osama is dead jokes?

Last Answer : I’d make a few Osama jokes, but they’ve probably all Bin done.

Comics doing jokes about racism and stereotypes: do you think it's creating steps towards acceptance?

Description : Comics doing jokes about racism and stereotypes: do you think it's creating steps towards acceptance?

Last Answer : Some of them, I suppose, create a sense of acceptance by laughing at the user. Mostly, the utterance of some labels, makes me cringe.

Think you can write jokes for late night monologues?

Description : Think you can write jokes for late night monologues?

Last Answer : answer:So, did everyone see the super moon last weekend? Yeah, I thought I’d never see it being so cloudy here. That was until I saw my wife come out of the shower.

What impulse would make someone make jokes about the earthquake-tsunami disaster in Japan?

Description : What impulse would make someone make jokes about the earthquake-tsunami disaster in Japan?

Last Answer : I think it’s the I’d rather laugh than cry thing. They’re covering up the pain by trying to make a joke.

What are some good Halloween jokes?

Description : What are some good Halloween jokes?

Last Answer : Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snoman? A: Frostbite