answer:I don’t know you very well at all, @Mariah, but if this is something that is troubling you, good for your for seeking input on it. What sort of age range are you and your peers in? Your behavior (having an existential crisis and crying for hours) is strongly reminiscent of how American teenagers act when they are learning to drink (sometimes in high school but usually around college age). From the way you put it, it does sound like people are blowing things out of proportion. Have you ever explained things to your boyfriend or friends like you have explained it here right now? That drinking is still a novelty and an adventure for you, since you were unable to for so long, and that therefore you are still learning what works for you and feeling out your limits? Just because you had one bad experience with drinking does not necessarily mean that you have a problem. What’s more, plenty of alcoholics (I have known many) do not have emotional experiences like that when they drink. But it sounds like your excitement/giddy response to being able to drink, coupled with still being in the phase where you’re learning your limits well past the age when most people already have, is misleading your friends. The problem is that once people start thinking you’re an alcoholic, their perceptions will just be confirmed if you deny it. But if these people are your friends, they should trust you and take your word if you sit down and explain these things to them sincerely. Good luck.