answer:Not shooting the messenger is NOT about tolerating gossips or hurtful people. It is a matter of not blaming someone tasked with bringing bad news. Do you blame the lab technician that tells you your cholesterol is too high? Do you blame the mechanic that tells you your transmission is shot? People who behave as you describe, though, are not to be tolerated. As is said in the recovery movement, “you are only as sick as your secrets”. Before making a promise to keep secrets, let people know that some secrets can not be kept. You know the person will tell you anyway!