This kind of thing sticks with you. The pain will dull over time, but will never disappear. When I was a teen, about forty years ago, I had a close friend. We made plans together about our futures. There came a time when she was out, didn’t call for days, wasn’t coming by. I went to a party one night, and she showed up. She was blasted. She asked me to come with her to hang out with some “new friends”. These new friends were bad news. They were reckless. They took whatever drugs they could get their hands on, any time, anywhere. I pleaded with her to stay with me at the party. I told her as long as she hung with that crowd, she couldn’t hang with me. She left. A few days later, I felt bad. I called her house to ask her to come over. Her mom answered. She told me when the funeral was scheduled, and where. She was in a car with her new crowd and they hit a jeep. Everyone in the car died. The doctor said he didn’t know what she was on, but it caused her looks to distort so badly after she died, that they had a closed casket service. I still think of that friend sometimes. I still hurt over her death. The thing which did help some of us who knew her, and hung out with her before she hooked up with that new group, was to sit together and just have talks about her. She had this habit of saying, “I’m going to come back and haunt you” whenever somebody would be messing around with her. During one of our group pow wows, we learned that each of us had experienced some very weird stuff we thought had to be her and her macabre sense of humor. We ended up laughing, and talking about how much fun she must have had doing those things. It relieved the anxiety, and led us to some of our very best memories of her. It was healthy, getting together like that. If you had other friends in common with the girl you have lost, it might be good to get together like that. More can come out of it than just sharing the pain. If you are still with me after all this writing, I want to say I am sorry for your loss. You are welcome to pm me anytime to share your feelings, thoughts, or memories.