We talk a lot about getting and staying organized. It’s something of an obsession with some people: they have to know where everything is at all times and be able to find what they need at a moment’s notice. Well, what about the rest of us? What about the people who feel that life is much more interesting when you’re surrounded by piles of clutter and you’re missing appointments left and right? What about the creative spirits who thrive on mess, conflict, and disorganization? For these (ahem) “earthy” souls, we give you 10 ways to stay disorganized.
1. Ditch your calendar, planner, Palm, wrist watch, or whatever other appointment-keeping device you’ve been toting around. They’ll only serve to make you feel guilty for being late all of the time.
2. Never pay any bills until they come in a yellow, orange, or red envelope. You never know - the electric company may just get tired of waiting and forget about your outstanding bill all together. The same goes for email: you can judge the urgency of the message by the number of exclamation points and frowny faces used in the subject line.
3. Never keep receipts for anything. If a receipt does manage to find its way into your home, make sure that it’s stuffed into the pocket of an old winter coat that lives at the very back of the closet.
4. When you really need to remember something, jot it down on the back of your hand, an old envelope, or a dollar bill. Using this method will ensure that the information you need is long gone by the time you need it.
5. Your desk, dining room table, top of the dresser, and kitchen counter are there for you to use. Instead of putting things (like keys, mail, loose change, and various pocket clutter) away, put them onto one of these surfaces immediately. It will free up your hands to do other things while making it impossible to get anything done on or near any of these surfaces.
6. Rather than going to the trouble of buying a filing cabinet for organizing your paperwork, have a “junk drawer” into which you can throw your bills, warranties, important documents, broken toys, rusty knives, rubber bands, takeout menus, and used tissues.
7. Never, ever throw anything away. Ever. Get cardboard boxes for storage if you need to, and stack them up along one wall of the garage. In them you can put those clothes that haven’t fit anyone in the house for three years, old greeting cards, small pieces of broken furniture, mismatched puzzle pieces, lone socks, and other necessary items. If your garage is leaky and/or infested with vermin, even better.
8. If you can’t find something in the mess, just buy a new one.
9. Don’t make to-do lists, even mental ones. They will only help you accomplish your necessary tasks faster and with less backtracking.
10. Let tasks pile up until they are overwhelming. Ignore the laundry until you’re seriously wondering whether turning your underwear inside-out to wear it another day is technically disgusting or not. Let the dirty dishes sit until you’re eating cereal out of a novelty Halloween bucket. Once everything is beyond hope and you realize you have a problem, rush to do everything all at once. When you realize how utterly hopeless it is, commence freaking out.