Does one need to sacrifice everything in order to be a parent?

1 Answer

Answer :

shilolo: Dude, keep fighting the good fight. You will lose, but still, keep on fighting. A time will come when you will start to get back some of your time, but that will not be yours for maybe another ten years. You will have to quit. What did I lose with kids? I used to teach trumpet. I used to go to a writers group. I used to go to a conversation group. Then, of course, there’s all the we stuff we lost. Of course, it’s worth it, but still, it’s hard to let go of some of those things. Now I’m able to do a little more “gigging” (not for pay), and I can have some musicians over to the house for some jamming. I can get my exercise as long as I bring my son with me. I don’t know why, but my daughter gets to stay at home. Anyway, it isn’t everything. It might feel like it, but it really isn’t. You know you love those kids!

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