answer:Sounds like a giant mix of codependency. You can’t make your brother do anything- you can’t control him no matter what you think of his choices. What you can do it set limits and boundaries, that if crossed, you would cut ties or pull back emotionally. I understand this is frustrating- and you’re right- it is. It’s hard to see people you love suffer. If it’s your mother’s house then she’s the one who has to draw a line in the sand and say ‘no more using me’. It doesn’t sound like, from what you’ve written, that she is eager to do that. You can’t control that either. She either will stand up for herself, or she won’t. Once we learn to let go of things we have no control over, what’s left are things we can control and it become much easier to do so without all the other clutter in the way.