Over the years I have taken a strong dislike to one or more of my sons’ girlfriends at one time or another. Early on I made a promise to myself, never, ever to interfere in their relationships or take a stand of opposition to one of their romantic partners. I always welcomed them, extended hospitality just as sincerely as I could, included them at the dinnertable, gave them birthday and ********* presents, and paid them reasonable compliments. I never criticized them to my sons behind their backs. A few times I was asked what I thought of the young women, and I always tried to find something positive that I could say truthfully. In time the relationships wore out. It was never through any doing of mine. If I had opposed them, they would have just dug in. Much better to let things come about naturally and in their own time, even when it took years. My job is to support my sons and to offer help when asked but otherwise to let them handle their own business. Sometimes, later on, they’d say something like, “You saw what she was really like, right? I see that now, but you couldn’t have told me at the time.” Exactly. I also vowed that I would never take sides against my sons with any girlfriend or potential spouse. My family did that to me, and my relationship to them never really recovered. In the case of any relationship less intimate than that of a mother with her sons, I hope I would find that restraint comes relatively easily.