I’m not out. I probably never will be, but I don’t feel like it causes me any conflicting emotions not to be. There are some people who know, but at this point I’m comfortable leaving it at that. There have been times when I’ve considered being candid, and I would expect most of the people in my life to not even bat an eye, I just think a fear of rejection holds me back from just doing it. I remember being in my late teens, maybe 18 or 19, and my (secret) girlfriend at the time gave me a really short haircut. I always thought my parents were very accepting and reasonable people, but my mother saw my hair and told me I looked “like a dyke” and threw me out of the house. Every time I consider telling someone new, I think of that. I ultimately ended up really hurting that girl, even though I cared very deeply for her, and she packed up and left town as a result. During that trip she was hit by a drunk driver which resulted in traumatic brain injury and left her quadriplegic. I’m not saying that I blame myself for the accident, but I would be lying if I said that the impact of that series of events doesn’t influence my personal fears of being open about my sexuality. However, in all fairness, unlike someone who is attracted to one specific gender, my choice to be relatively quiet about it doesn’t stop me from being with the person I love, who happens to be a man. I am happily married, and so the effect on my love life is relatively insignificant at this point. If that were to change in the future, and I found myself in a position where I would need to be more honest in order to be with the person I love, I think I have learned a lesson from the younger version of myself. I also know that although there are people who may not accept it, there are plenty who would be supportive and loving, and I take comfort in that.