answer:I’ll reply because I was in your boyfriend’s situation while my kids were growing up. My ex and I had divorced when the kids were young, and we had done quite well with joint custody. As I began to date again, and in some cases got very serious with a potential spouse, I always had a nagging feeling of spending time with <her> and not with my kids, who I have always said were my first responsibility. At one point, it came down to a “me or the kids” ultimatum from the woman I was pretty serious with. (The kids were about 12–14 at the time). Of course, I chose the kids. That’s simply not a choice that a decent woman should ever ask a man to make. So my suggestion: Understand who he is and how he values his children. (You wouldn’t want him if he abandoned them, would you?) And absolutely don’t require him to make a choice. Because you will lose.