answer:Firstly, don’t assume that its about you (rather than the project). Give her the chance to exit gracefully from the project. Talk to her directly about your observations over time without accusing her. Just tell her in terms of how it’s led you feel using “I” statements. If she’s that close a friend you hopefully would be able to be comfortable with total honesty. Of course you don’t discard a 14 yr. friendship over one incident. But if you don’t discuss it honestly, it will just continue to fester. My hunch is that the problem lies more with her loss of interest in the project. (I could be wrong, but thats my best guess). She could have committed to it without really considering a polite “no” as an option. Allow her that option now and continue your friendship. For me, personally, one of the critical differences between acquaintances vs. friends is the ability to talk about anything and everything EVEN difficult issues which might involve hurt feelings. Friends face stuff like that directly, resolve it and then move on.