What do you do when you really need a friend to lean on but they are all too busy for you?

What do you do when you really need a friend to lean on but they are all too busy for you?
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Answer :

answer:You just do what you can do, to either fix the situation, alleviate the situation, or if you can’t fix it, then try to do something else that will get your mind off of your troubles. I’ve found the best way to do that is to Pay It Forward. In other words, do something kind for someone else, without them having to ask. Help someone else who needs help, and don’t do any complaining while you’re doing it. Sometimes just doing something useful for someone else can make you not feel so emotionally tangled up in your own pain. Make plans to pay it forward immediately. Don’t wait, or else you’ll just end up wallowing in your own pity. Also, don’t blame those people who you wish were there to help you. It doesn’t help you. It only makes you feel resentful. Maybe down the line you can talk to those people, separately and be very specific about what you need them to do, without being accusatory. Say something like, “Hey Jim, I really need you to drive me to the store today. I hurt my back and I just can’t manage to get behind the wheel of my car.” Or, “Hey Jenn, can you just sit with me for a half an hour while I tell you my troubles? I promise I’ll let you leave after that. Just one half hour, and you don’t need to even offer up any solutions. I mostly just need someone to listen to me.” Even if you ask, and are very specific, people still might not have the time, or the mental capacity, or strength to do what you want/need. Forgive them. It won’t help you to blame them, because it will only make you feel like crap and won’t change the situation. Pay It Forward. Just do that, and keep doing it if you need to. Eventually, it will become second nature and you will want/need to pay it forward even when you aren’t feeling lonely and needy. If it helps, make a list of Pay It Forward tasks to keep on hand, for moments just like this, so that you don’t have to strain yourself trying to come up with something when you’re already feeling low. Just open up your list and pick something. Then just Pay It Forward. If you have a specific problem in mind, try asking a question about it here on ask-public. We’re here to help and we stay up late : )
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