answer:Thank you so much for sharing with us. I remember your other questions well. You would do yourself a lot of good to stay very far away from that woman. If she sends you gifts, refuse them. Send them back. Make a complete break with her. Your loneliness is not imagined. It is real. Every human on the planet understands what it means to be lonely. Here are a few thoughts I have: 1. Never compare what you feel inside to how you see people acting on their outsides. You have no idea what they are feeling inside themselves. It’s safe to speculate that some of the happy people you see feel sad inside. That’s a fact. 2. Find someone you trust, and tell them about all the things you’ve written here. I strongly suggest you find a person who is not emotionally attached to you. Look for a counselor of some kind. If they are a licensed clinical psychologist, that’s best. There are many other types of counselors who can help you. I strongly suggest getting a counselor, because they are not attached to keeping you happy. They can listen to you and help guide you to your own best ideas. 3. You don’t have to reveal all your hurt to them, but tell your parents or your sister about your loneliness. Ask them to help you find a counselor to talk to. I say that not knowing your family. I hope they will be open and caring, but I don’t know. 4. You are worthy of feeling well. You are worthy of getting better. Right now, you have a kind of illness. You are worthy of all the hard work it will take you to feel well. Do that hard work. Do it. Take one step at a time. Today, look up the name and phone number of a counselor or counseling center near you. That’s your task for today. If you feel strong enough, call them. Today. If you need some more strength, call them in the morning. But call them. They will probably be closed tomorrow since it’s Saturday. Leave them a message telling them how to reach you. What you are experiencing is real. You’re not imagining it. I was there, too. I understand. I was very lonely as a gay boy in rural Oklahoma, and it made me very frightened of what I was carrying inside me. I tried to hide it for a very long time, but we cannot hide the truth. It comes out. It always comes out. I reached out for help. I spoke to counselors. Over the years, I learned to love myself, and gradually, I learned to live truthfully and happily. It was a lot of hard work for me. Today, I am very happy. I live by myself in a big city, but I am not at all lonely. I am happy. I got here. You can, too. But you’re going to have to reach out and get help. You have to do that hard work. No one here can do that hard work for you. Do it. You’re worth it.