(Hi NK.) You’re correct. No, attraction isn’t a choice, and people should not try to shame or condemn others for whom they’re attracted to or not. Moreover, I think who we choose to be closed to romantic relationships with HAS to be allowed to be a free choice, or else the people shaming/condemning are just behaving atrociously and need to stop. Otherwise it’s like obliging people into unwanted romantic situations. And I’d even say they don’t have to say why, and those choices could be based on racial biases, and that’s their business that should be invioably private. Everyone should always just be able to say “no thanks” or “no” with no comment. On the other hand, going around declaring to people who didn’t ask that they aren’t attracted to X race in an offensive way is of course totally possible. So please tell people who say that that they’re undermining tolerance by being ludicrously over-aggressive about it.