How do I deal with this guilt?

1 Answer

Answer :

I am sorry for your loss. Your situation sounds complex, like most situations with elderly family members who want to retain their independence. It was made much more so by the family tensions you describe. I think you should focus on the positives. You visited with her on a regular basis, and each of you got something valuable out of the visits. Perhaps the event that led to her death would have happened anyway like a heart attack or stroke (though you make it sound like she fell down the stairs and couldn’t get help). So, while you mourn her loss, think fondly back over her long and full life and realize that being in a nursing home would not necessarily have been a panacea.

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