answer:Any number of things can stir up an old loss (e.g., his birthday, your birthday, father’s day, the anniversary of his death, etc.) sometimes without you even being aware. I don’t think you need to be stronger, I think you need a chance to actually mourn. Most hospitals have bereavement groups (usually of a time-limited nature) to kind of “kick-start” the process. I think doing grief work with someone (a group or a one-on-one counselor) can be of great benefit to helping you avoid doing some of the work over and over and never really getting through the process. Leave everyone else and their stuff out of the equation (it is too easy to get distracted) and keep the focus on YOUR loss. My Dad died of cancer when I was 18 and there was all sorts of messiness from other family members and I kept confusing it all because I was also connected to them as well. I think the biggest thing I had to learn was that it was OK to be mad at my Dad for essentially abandoning me to the situation in which I found myself. It can be really hard to be mad at a dead person, particularly if they were the glue or source of strength, but it can really help to own whatever feelings you have about the loss of the deceased. Time limited therapy on a specific issue (loss of a parent) can really have a beneficial impact.