What are some of the funniest things you've said or heard when talking on the phone?

What are some of the funniest things you've said or heard when talking on the phone?
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Answer :

I’ve got friends who pick up the phone already talking to someone. One mommy does that so regularly, sometimes I’m waiting five minutes before she greets me. I get to hear things like, “Well just go to the bathroom and then we’ll figure out what to do about it”, or, “If you’re going to kill your sister take her in the other room to do it.” Sometimes the kids are doing homework and I can hear that going on. Suddenly her voice bursts directly into my ear, “Oh, it’s you! How do you spell catalyst?”
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