answer:Hi, welcome to Fluther. I was in a long term relationship with someone with Asperger’s so I do have some experience. It does indeed sound like you have a monster-in-law. You gave lots of details about her behavior and it sounds like a lifelong pattern of manipulation and judgment. And it certainly does sound to me like she’s continuing to make a power play. Caveat: I’ve never been married so I do not know what any of those dynamics are like. But aside from this being a question of your relationship with your monster-in-law, this sounds foremost like a question of the relationship between your fiance and his mother, and then your fiance and you. You (I’m assuming both you and your fiance) and your MIL “came to an agreement” about respecting boundaries, which she obviously felt free to break afterwards. He tried to ask her to write an apology letter to ease tensions, but she was unwilling to do that. Does your fiance buy her justification that she’s “worried” about you? That sounds like total BS to me. How old is he? Will he ever be able to stand up to his mother and tell her to get out of his life? How could he possibly have learned about boundaries, having been raised by someone like her? Does he even realize that he needs to assert himself and get her out of your lives?