Well, did writing the rants and drivel help you at the time? Because there’s really no need to go back and read it if that part doesn’t work for you. For me, the whole point of writing a journal is to be able to get it out of my system, not to be able to go back and read it; worrying about how angry or stupid or crazy or whatever I’m coming across as really hinders the therapeutic process for me because it means I’m never allowed to fully express myself even with me (and shouldn’t I be the one person I’m always totally honest and expressive with?) But I never go back and read it (with some small exceptions for traumatic incidents, where I’m exceptionally likely to distort or dissociate later on).