Which is more harmful to children: Parents that are neglectful/do not care, or parents that are abusive, like neonazis or religious fundamentalists?

Which is more harmful to children: Parents that are neglectful/do not care, or parents that are abusive, like neonazis or religious fundamentalists?
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Do you mean abusive because their beliefs are anathema to you or do you mean they are abusive to the children in other ways?
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Did you have an abusive parent (or parents)?

Description : Did you have an abusive parent (or parents)?

Last Answer : Would you please specifically define “abusive” here? There are different kinds of parental abuse that can irrevocably damage a child.

How do they fix abusive people, anyway?

Description : How do they fix abusive people, anyway?

Last Answer : They probably go untreated and become politicians, ceos and soldiers.

Is there anything you can do to help a loved one in an abusive situation?

Description : Is there anything you can do to help a loved one in an abusive situation?

Last Answer : answer:I have never seen a violent abuse situation get better it only gets worse especially when the victim attempts to distance themselves from the abuser. I have seen one abusive realtionship get better when ... them and check in on them frequently. Be ready to call in outside help if need be.

In the events leading up to Hitler and Nazi Germany, were there groups like the KKK and neoNazis already stirring?

Description : In the events leading up to Hitler and Nazi Germany, were there groups like the KKK and neoNazis already stirring?

Last Answer : There was a large anti semitic movement, a eugenics movement in the sciences, intolerance to gays, zenophobia plus other factors. What I read pretty much painted a picture where Hitler was heavily ... are all players now when in that time many were legitimately ignorant of the unfolding situation.

Aside from home schooling, which I already do, what are other ways to save money raising a kid all the while not being neglectful or stifling in any way?

Description : Aside from home schooling, which I already do, what are other ways to save money raising a kid all the while not being neglectful or stifling in any way?

Last Answer : Out of curiosity, how does home schooling save money? I would think it costs money- not only does it remove someone from the workforce, you have to pay for textbooks, etc.

What are the characteristics of fundamentalists?

Description : What are the characteristics of fundamentalists?

Last Answer : Fundamentalists are persons who believe in the strict, literal interpretation of the scripture in whichever religion that they follow.

"You have to be a parent to understand." Does anyone else find that some (not all) parents use this line or a line like this to justify for their own abusive behaviour?

Description : "You have to be a parent to understand." Does anyone else find that some (not all) parents use this line or a line like this to justify for their own abusive behaviour?

Last Answer : It ranks right up with “Do it because I said so”. Idiots.

People who have been in foster care, would staying in an abusive home have been better?

Description : People who have been in foster care, would staying in an abusive home have been better?

Last Answer : For many people, being in ‘foster care’ was just, if not more, abusive than staying at home

Parents of adult children, do you have any expectations of their behavior towards you?

Description : Parents of adult children, do you have any expectations of their behavior towards you?

Last Answer : Expectations? Yes, no, maybe. We have established patterns, my daughter and I, and we communicate our feelings freely. I hope that we can maintain this level of affection and connection, but I don't make ... a huge plus, and not taken for granted. I expect civility, I enjoy and revel in friendship.

How can parents best cult-proof their children?

Description : How can parents best cult-proof their children?

Last Answer : answer:Cult Proofing for Dummies? “Listen to, laugh with, and love your children. For Shadow Spiders are everywhere.”

Parents - Have you given your children enough (see details)

Description : Parents - Have you given your children enough (see details)

Last Answer : May be too hard a question for any of us to tackle.

I read about critical parents, but what about critical adult children?

Description : I read about critical parents, but what about critical adult children?

Last Answer : OK, this may be obvious, but my coffee’s not kicked in, yet… Do you mean adult children that are critical of their parents? Or everyone in their family?

Are children born a certain way, or do the parents have tremendous influence?

Description : Are children born a certain way, or do the parents have tremendous influence?

Last Answer : answer:Well believe it or not a mother's actions while she's pregnant can affect the baby. I'm not just talking about the obvious physical outcomes, but any stress she experiences so does the ... both. Here is one of the documentaries I saw that went through what I mentioned above. Moving Forward

Could parents emphasis on the value of childhood innocence over their childs ever approaching adulthood be a problem for them and their children?

Description : Could parents emphasis on the value of childhood innocence over their childs ever approaching adulthood be a problem for them and their children?

Last Answer : My approach to parenting was one of letting go gradually. Too often I see parents that are overprotective, and either the child rebels, or when they get some independence they are out of control. I have also ... day that is fast approaching when he leaves the nest (he's a High School Senior now).

Where do some religious people get the notion that they know things about their god?

Description : Where do some religious people get the notion that they know things about their god?

Last Answer : They either get it from their respective holy books and/or cultural beliefs. The holy books go a long way in explaining God’s motives/reasons for certain things sometimes so it’s not particularly surprising when people say that.

Where do you draw the line when parenting goes from over-caring to abusive behaviour?

Description : Where do you draw the line when parenting goes from over-caring to abusive behaviour?

Last Answer : answer:

How should I treat an "ex" who was verbally and physically abusive when he's at a party I'm attending?

Description : How should I treat an "ex" who was verbally and physically abusive when he's at a party I'm attending?

Last Answer : Wow. The answer is very individual and probably so complicated that you should work it out with your therapist. You don't have control over your emotional reaction. You feel how you feel and that's neither good ... though, that's why if I were in your shoes I'd spend a few session with a therapist.

If you're from an 'abusive family', do you think you have a sixth sense about other people who were abused?

Description : If you're from an 'abusive family', do you think you have a sixth sense about other people who were abused?

Last Answer : I'm not very good at picking out other people who were abused, but I think that's partially because I was gaslighted about it for many years. A friend of mine who was abused and who had the resources to ... who around me might have been abused. But like I said, I'm not very good at it yet.

Worst abusive mother ever. What should I do now?

Description : Worst abusive mother ever. What should I do now?

Last Answer : answer:Well, for starters, you should probably see if you can get this question moved to General, because it's obviously a question that you want to have answered seriously - since it's such a serious topic ... the future; it comes down to how you deal with it and map out your actions from now on.

Would you say ”lumping” is an abusive way to punish a child, better or worse than corporal punishment?

Description : Would you say ”lumping” is an abusive way to punish a child, better or worse than corporal punishment?

Last Answer : No.. you would lose your children's trust I would at least have them do something meaningful like volunteer at a soup kitchen and help some one . I had a math teacher who made grade 7 students write math ... 1 , 2 times 1 = 2 until you got to a magnitude of 10's and double for each infraction.

How do I speak with her about her abusive relationship?

Description : How do I speak with her about her abusive relationship?

Last Answer : answer:What you don't have to do is take verbal abuse from this jerk. Tell him and her the next time he speaks to you like that, you are out of there. As to her hearing you, all you can do is say, ... domestic abuse hotline) 888-743-5754. Then you have to let it go. It's up to her at that point.

What percentage of men are abusive physically or sexually?

Description : What percentage of men are abusive physically or sexually?

Last Answer : answer:This link explains most batterers over estimation of battering behaviors. Not quite what you have in mind maybe but, ties in. www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/03/100309131800.htm

How can I deal with an abusive mother when I have come to her home to heal?

Description : How can I deal with an abusive mother when I have come to her home to heal?

Last Answer : answer:Wow! That sounds horrible! I hope you can find a way to get out of there asap. But meanwhile, I'm not sure. Your relationship with your mother has been established for decades, I presume. It' ... over. She's a mother. Parents always break down sooner or later. Keep telling her what you want.

What are some subtle ways of being abusive?

Description : What are some subtle ways of being abusive?

Last Answer : Ignoring someone is a pretty good way to mess with someone. Making up lies also can push someone away.

If I have been physically abusive towards my girlfriend is it possible for me to get help and it actually work?

Description : If I have been physically abusive towards my girlfriend is it possible for me to get help and it actually work?

Last Answer : answer:First of all, you can change if you want to – for you. Not for anyone else. You are aware of the problem, you discuss it and want to do something about it. This is a first step. Get professional help. Quit drinking. But it is possible if you do this.

How would you handle the death of an abusive parent?

Description : How would you handle the death of an abusive parent?

Last Answer : I will answer this when I get back from a funeral today (NOT an abusive family member) but I wanted you to know that I’ve been there in the past and I’ll be thinking of you.

Is it better to have an absent father, a paper father or an abusive father?

Description : Is it better to have an absent father, a paper father or an abusive father?

Last Answer : answer:Of the three situations, I would have to say an absentee father would be my chosen, followed by a paper father, then an abusive one. I hope it's clear why I would pick the abusive one as a last ... they cared or loved me as in a paper dad case, what good would it do to have them around?

What can I do if my brother is 3 years older than me and is really abusive to me and my mum?

Description : What can I do if my brother is 3 years older than me and is really abusive to me and my mum?

Last Answer : Call the police and/or file a CPS report. If you are in school tell your teacher or principal – they are required to report it and can get you the help you and your family need. If he is abusive to you that is illegal, and a crime.

How can I stop dreaming about my abusive ex?

Description : How can I stop dreaming about my abusive ex?

Last Answer : answer:When things are doing really well in your life, I don't think it is uncommon to fear the worst could happen. In your case, because your past relationship was so bad, a return to it would be ... from reaching that safe place increases. I hope that you will be very happy and wish you the best.

What do you do after an abusive and controlling relationship and you have nothing ?

Description : What do you do after an abusive and controlling relationship and you have nothing ?

Last Answer : answer:You don't have nothing, darlin'. You've got yourself back. Now you just have to find out who that is and how to be it. Any interest in going back to school? or looking for a job? or ... 've got yourself to look after. So don't rush into anything. Thank goodness your parents are there for you.

Did you ever have a relationship with a person who was emotionally abusive?

Description : Did you ever have a relationship with a person who was emotionally abusive?

Last Answer : Not a sexual relationship. I have however been around people who were emotionally abusive

How do you deal with abusive older brothers?

Description : How do you deal with abusive older brothers?

Last Answer : You may have to remove yourself if he's ignoring your demands to stop hitting you. If you leave to a trusted relative's or friend's place for a little while, perhaps your parents and brother might ... think about how you're going to deal with these relationships and how to get on with your life.

What should I do about my abusive brother?

Description : What should I do about my abusive brother?

Last Answer : I’m usually not one for physical violence, but it sounds like he needs his ass kicked. If he’s physically attacking his mother, then it’s time for corporal punishment. You should probably edit the title question because it might get modded….

Is multi-tasking abusive?

Description : Is multi-tasking abusive?

Last Answer : I have deliberately kept my life relatively simple as I function musch better when not over-stressed. I am fortunate to be able to afford to work only part time and do not carry a cellphone on purpose ... all that comes at one in America today and partly because of Fluther! (Seriously.) But I try .

I'm dealing with a co-worker who's partner is emotionally abusive? Why are people emotionally abusive?

Description : I'm dealing with a co-worker who's partner is emotionally abusive? Why are people emotionally abusive?

Last Answer : A better question might be, what is your coworker doing about it?

What’s a toxic/abusive trait that no one pays attention to ?

Description : What’s a toxic/abusive trait that no one pays attention to ?

Last Answer : answer:Discussing sensitive topics constantly, treating you like a therapist. It’s very blatantly toxic and a red flag but we all ignore it, sometimes constantly hearing someone else’s issues in life isn’t healthy.

Is it abusive or illegal to shoot or poison a dog that has bit someone and is still aggressive and threatening toward people?

Description : Is it abusive or illegal to shoot or poison a dog that has bit someone and is still aggressive and threatening toward people?

Last Answer : answer:I'm pretty sure cruelty to animals in any circumstance is still cruelty to animals. If a person bites me and I poison or shoot that person, is it still murder? If an overly aggressive dog gets to ... be near people and needs to be euthanized, take it to a vet so it can be done humanely.

My friend, who is a druggie and looks kind of scary at first sight, but is actuallly very nice, sometimes has anger issues and a short temper, will he be fine in the future? Or do you think he will be very violent to be around and abusive?

Description : My friend, who is a druggie and looks kind of scary at first sight, but is actuallly very nice, sometimes has anger issues and a short temper, will he be fine in the future? Or do you think he will be very violent to be around and abusive?

Last Answer : Well.. you can never know for sure… as long as he isn’t physically abusive, because everyone can have anger issues. He could work it out, tell him about how scary he is during when he lashes out, and maybe he could change.

What childhood memories did you not realize were abusive until later in life?

Description : What childhood memories did you not realize were abusive until later in life?

Last Answer : When I was young, some "very friendly" man from an internet chat room got me to call him on the regular phone and say phrases to him, which I realized years later were sexual and that he was ... having to get "cleaned up" near the end of our conversations afterwards and I just didn't get it.

What are some good passive aggressive comments or actions to combat a verbally abusive narcissistic boss?

Description : What are some good passive aggressive comments or actions to combat a verbally abusive narcissistic boss?

Last Answer : Basically any comment that's malicious compliance. If they tell you to do something that you know is going to result in a huge fuck up, don't correct them but instead say you're the boss and you ... you get it in writing via an email so you have evidence for when inevitably they try to blame you.

Why do people stay in abusive relationships?

Description : Why do people stay in abusive relationships?

Last Answer : People stay in abusive relationship because they believed they are in love and as such they can still change the abusive person in due time.What the forget is that an abusive person will always be one ... to move on so they decide to stay put until they are able to financially sort themselves out.

What are examples of abusive tax shelters?

Description : What are examples of abusive tax shelters?

Last Answer : Offshore tax havens are an example of abusive tax shelters. For more information about abusive tax shelters, visit http://www.irs.gov/individuals/content/0,,id=97749,00.html

I am a disabled woman in an abusive environment. I don't want a woman's shelter - I really need an apartment or house for personal reasons. Thank you?

Description : I am a disabled woman in an abusive environment. I don't want a woman's shelter - I really need an apartment or house for personal reasons. Thank you?

Last Answer : You can contact social services and they will help you locate another place to live.

How can I break it to my highly religious parents that I am atheist?

Description : How can I break it to my highly religious parents that I am atheist?

Last Answer : answer:Tell them you’re gay. After you’ve picked them up off the floor from passing out, tell them you were just kidding, that you’re really only an atheist. They’ll be relieved. This is assuming they’re not in favor of homosexuality. I of course support any form of love between human beings.

I have trouble dealing with my uber-religious parents, advice please?

Description : I have trouble dealing with my uber-religious parents, advice please?

Last Answer : Can you write her a letter about how you feel? Letters are sometimes better than trying to verbalize what you need to say, because the recipient has to hear you out without interrupting you. Also, you could ... let him take it up with her. At the very least, perhaps he could help tone her down?

How do I ask my very homophobic religious boyfriends parents to marry him?

Description : How do I ask my very homophobic religious boyfriends parents to marry him?

Last Answer : This is a tricky topic, if you feel the need to ask them give ita shot. Keep in mind some people are very close minded and can't bechanged but you don't need there approval to be happy with someone:)

How do I ask my very homophobic religious boyfriends parents to marry him?

Description : How do I ask my very homophobic religious boyfriends parents to marry him?

Last Answer : This is a tricky topic, if you feel the need to ask them give ita shot. Keep in mind some people are very close minded and can't bechanged but you don't need there approval to be happy with someone:)

Has anyone successfully changed their parent's perspective on something that you believe in?

Description : Has anyone successfully changed their parent's perspective on something that you believe in?

Last Answer : Nope. My Mom still won’t smoke pot.

If you could hand-select your parents, what characteristics would be most important for your consideration?

Description : If you could hand-select your parents, what characteristics would be most important for your consideration?

Last Answer : I'm not sure I would be qualified to make a reasonable selection. But through the years, I have wished that my parents had been more educated, interesting, wealthy, less anxious, and non-pedestrian. ... had to grow up with my picks, I'd probably find them to be insufferable assholes like myself.

What do you say to a seven and a half year old when they ask you why their parents fight?

Description : What do you say to a seven and a half year old when they ask you why their parents fight?

Last Answer : “some people love each other but have a hard time getting along. And it is between Mom and Dad, and not about you. They each love you in their own way.”