answer:Wow! That sounds horrible! I hope you can find a way to get out of there asap. But meanwhile, I’m not sure. Your relationship with your mother has been established for decades, I presume. It’s really hard to change things like that. If you could get her to come to therapy with you, that might help. Otherwise, you can tell her what you want and don’t want. No reasons and don’t listen to her arguments or defenses. Just tell her what you want. She might tell you you’re selfish or any other ridiculous thing. Don’t hear it. Just stay on message. “I am here to heal, Mom. You can help my in this way.” Like a broken record. Don’t let her get you off message. Don’t reply to her defenses. Don’t defend yourself. Just say what you want, over and over. She’s a mother. Parents always break down sooner or later. Keep telling her what you want.