answer:Wow. I think that you need to deal with this to move forward with your life. It is really not about losing your girlfriend. It is about you. First love is always poignant and especially bittersweet. It represents all of the possibilities of perfection. You were torn apart, and therefore you never got to have the everyday give and take of relationship. Thus, you have become fixated on dreams. Every time you start thinking of her, look in the mirror and say out loud, “She is now a 50-year-old woman who farts and poops. Perhaps she became a shrew or she was unfaithful.” Instead of thinking about what might have been focus on how she did treat you when you contacted her afterward. She could not even work out the time to see you when she visited your town after leaving. Did she write you back? Initiate calls? Try to see you? No, she moved on with her life. That is what would have probably happened if the two of you had stayed in the same place. Think instead about the woman you are with now. The loving things that she does for you and say to you. Spend some time learning to love yourself. Take care of yourself. I wish you peace and the ability to live in the moment not dwell on something 35 years in the past.