What is the most awkwardly timed fart you've ever had?

1 Answer

Answer :

Be me. Lame as fuck. Get balls of steel and go talk to qt3.14 with natch titties and boner smile. Head on over. Nervousasfuck.wav. Rip ass the moment my cock hole opens. Go to bathroom. Fap. Cry. Fap again.

Related questions

Description : What is your awkwardly pre-mature end-of- the-world pronouncement?

Last Answer : [deleted]

Description : Why do cats awkwardly lick their necks beneath their chins, and what is it called?

Last Answer : I think they are programmed to clean anything they can reach, with emphasis on places where food items might drip or splatter.

Description : What should I do about my student, who speaks out awkwardly in class, and challenges me on my age, knowledge?

Last Answer : answer:You must set the groundrules for discussions immediately. You must explain that each student needs to listen to others answers and show respect at all times. If it starts to get heated, end the ... will end their time speaking. It's your job. The rest of the class will appreciate it.

Description : Is Obama's trip to Israel poorly timed?

Last Answer : Obama visiting Israel communicates that, despite their hard-nosed, right-wing coalition sucking, anti-peace, Prime Minister, that the US is definitely interested in Middle East peace and would like to work with Israeli middle grounders.

Description : What does timed dry mean on a dryer? Does it save energy?

Last Answer : I may be wrong, but I believe it’s a timer for drying your clothes.

Description : Billings: How do you send a 'normal' (non-timed) invoice for sold inventories on a flat-fee basis?

Last Answer : answer:Create a new slip and set it's Kind' as Flat'. Then in put the unit price in the rate field and add one hour to the log. I don't know if that's how you're supposed to do it, ... but if you change it to decimal, you'll end up with a more normal looking quantity figure for fixed-price items.

Description : The marathon man timed himself and found out that if he wore a bright white outfit he ran 20 miles in 80 minutes, but when he wore a dark outfit, he ran 20 miles in one hour and twenty minutes. What does this mean for his next race? -Riddles

Last Answer : Absolutely nothing, as 80 minutes equals an hour and twenty minutes.

Description : The arc resulting from the tripping of a circuit breaker is prevented from damaging the contacts by _____________. A. designing the contacts to open slowly B. directing the arc into an ... an inverse timed thermal trip for short circuit currents D. instantaneous magnetic trip for overload currents

Last Answer : Answer: B

Description : What do you understand by timed cylinder lubrication ?

Last Answer : For effective lubrication, lub oil needs to be injected between two piston rings when piston is at bottom of stroke so that piston rides in oi during upward movement. This way lot of lub oil can be saved and used properly.

Description : Regarding practice of accountancy, which of the following certificates is issued to a CPA first, a certificate of registration or a certificate of accreditation? a. Certificate of registration b. Certificate of accreditation c. Both are issued at the same time d. Neither are issued to CPAs

Last Answer : Certificate of registration

Description : The output quality of a printer is measured by a. Dot per inch b. Dot per sq. inch c. Dots printed per unit time d. All of above

Last Answer : Dot per sq. inch

Description : Bladder retraining following removal of an indwelling catheter begins with instructing the patient to follow a 2-3 hour timed voiding schedule. Immediately after the removal of the indwelling ... in the bladder after voiding, straight catheterization may be performed for complete bladder emptying.

Last Answer : a) encouraging the patient to void immediately. Immediate voiding is not usually encouraged. The patient is commonly placed on a timed voiding schedule, usually within two to three hours.

Description : What was your longest fart/burp ever?

Last Answer : And the winner of the intellectual achievement award goes to…...

Description : Do you ever fart on purpose?

Last Answer : No. As some of you may already know, I find farting highly embarrassing even when I am alone. It amuses me when others do it though!

Description : Why does my dog fart when he walks up stairs?

Last Answer : Like it says on so many packages: “Some settling of contents may occur.”

Description : If you get detained by the rozzers and then proceed to release a massive, stinking fart inside their car, will you be charged with anything?

Last Answer : No. Not unless you light it.

Description : Do cats fart?

Last Answer : My cats have released intestinal gases. They didn’t generate sounds loud enough for me to hear but my olfactory nerves definitely did detect them.

Description : Will you fart in Public?

Last Answer : answer:“Will you” is in the future. You should ask “Have you ever?” Of course. Read this definition: here

Description : Care to share a few favorite fun fart factoids?

Last Answer : answer:Some potters fart into their raw materials before they begin to shape the bowls. They do this frequently when making ceramics that commemorate US Heavyweight boxers. They call it “Gaseous Clay”.

Description : Do girls in all-girls schools belch and fart out loud without shame like boys in all-boys schools do?

Last Answer : Yes, but only if there are not authority figures around. Mostly however, it was only a case of not suppressing, instead of deliberately generating them.

Description : Do you fart in public?

Last Answer : I have wiped out entire cities with my farts.

Description : Where do you go to fart?

Last Answer : I like to run down to the elevator in my building, and rip a good long one then flee.

Description : How much does a fart weigh?

Last Answer : I am so following this question.

Description : Can you store fart gas and use it?

Last Answer : No. It is methane, which causes global warming.

Description : Is it okay to fart out loud in your own backyard?

Last Answer : Fine in yours, but NIMBY.

Description : Do adopted children grow up to fart similar to their guardians' farts or more similar to their parents' farts? (Nature vs Nurture question)

Last Answer : Do we have any control over the sound of our farts?

Description : Why is farting and fart jokes so funny?

Last Answer : Flatulence is funny, just because. Parrrrrummmppp!!! Err….... more tea vicar? ;¬}

Description : Are you glad you are an old fart?

Last Answer : Yeppers!! I was 22 years old when I got my first IBM 8088 processor and DOS was a breeze! You actually told IT what to do!! Ahhhhh…the good old days!!

Description : Do people fart in Heaven?

Last Answer : Not in mine.

Description : Do butterflies fart?

Last Answer : answer:Every animal farts including insects like bees and ants and butterflies. If you have a belly of sorts and a rectum, gasses will build up due to digestion and by nature they will fart. If the animal has a ... at its most base level. Now if they can fart and burp at the same time I do not know.

Description : How come when you fart in the bathtub it always smells like brussels sprouts?

Last Answer : Um, what? I know nothing of the sort.

Description : What is the scientific or evolutional value of guys thinking fart jokes, penises, and shots to the groin are humorous.

Last Answer : answer:Perhaps it serves another useful function – like social bonding in groups of men. I enjoy a good fart joke, but it doesn’t mean I’ll tell it to my wife.

Description : Is it possible to bottle up a fart and preserve the smell for later?

Last Answer : The seal has to have a membrane with smaller ports than the size of the odor molecules.

Description : Gentlemen: Is it impolite to fart while at a urinal?

Last Answer : What better place? Dual relief.

Description : Would a fart powered phone charger work?

Last Answer : I certainly wouldn’t be able to make any calls ;)

Description : Why do french bulldogs fart?

Last Answer : Too many croissants.

Description : What happens if you fart in yoga class?

Last Answer : Reminds me of a jackass episode

Description : Would you like to get all your farting out of the way, and never fart again?

Last Answer : No, I would like to continue to spread them across the years. As George Carlin said, “You know, your own smell fairly decent.”

Description : What is so funny about a fart?

Last Answer : It’s the goshdarn noise! It’s funny because something as repulsive as a fart (rancid gaseous by-products of bacteria leaking out of the bum) makes a noise that is so devilishly disgustingly funny that BEGS to be copied. :)

Description : Do you know of these fart neutralisers?

Last Answer : I’ve heard of them before, but never known anyone to use them. Wouldn’t Beano be easier?

Description : What makes a fart?

Last Answer : It is one of the things that contributes to them. Your diet in general and your state of health also contribute.

Description : Will you still be laughing at fart-jokes when you're 90?

Last Answer : Yep. I will. And I’ll ask my grandkids to pull my finger, too!

Description : You know how you see your breath when its cold well when you fart does a puff of smoke come out your but

Last Answer : well when you see that smoke, its when the hot reacts with the cold, so im guessing that yes, when you fart there will be smoke o something.

Description : If somebody invented "fart vision" glasses, how much would you pay for them?

Last Answer : 4000$

Description : This is a three parter: Why do people's farts make noise, while most animals don't? Why do people not mind the smell of their own farts, but cover their faces when others rip one? If you hold in a fart, where does it go?

Last Answer : answer:!) Gotta tell you, my dogs farts They make noise. [at]) Unless it's particularly raunchy I bask in all of them. I've had some where I've covered my own face. Those are baaaad nights. ... out with the full force of zeus it just seeps out slowly. anyone ever taken gas x purposely to fart?

Description : What's your worst "it wasn't a fart" moment?

Last Answer : When in reality it was a shart

Description : content:

Last Answer : All animals do.

Description : My dog has gas. What causes it and what can I do to prevent it?

Last Answer : It could be the food that's the problem. It's normal to pass gas, but if it's excessive you should take your dog to the vet to make sure it's not a medical problem. You can try feeding a ... 25% in the present food and gradually increase the amount of new food until that's all your dog is eating.

Description : How do you feel after a refreshing shower when toweling off and you let out a nasty fart into your favorite, soft, beige, super fluffy towel?

Last Answer : I'd feel like I need another shower. About as painful as having to shit right after your shower. It's like, "COME ON, REALLY????"